She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
