And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
