you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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