Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
