At least make sure they are 18
Why
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
