Sponge bath it is.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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