I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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