his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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