You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
