somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
