If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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