We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
