So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
