He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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