I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
