I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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