i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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