So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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