You just made me feel so damn special
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
