their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
