her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
