you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
