Are we in a gay sports bar?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?