At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
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I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me