i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up