He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha