Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize