and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
