i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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