..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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