I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
