can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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