Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
