Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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