Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
