I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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