There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
