u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
