she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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