I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
