how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
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I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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