just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
