You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize