i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
