he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
