I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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