I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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