You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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