am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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