I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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