It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
