The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
