My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
