Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
