if you like me you must not know who I am
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
