Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This is not my ceiling
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize