Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
