her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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