Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
