Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i black out too much to be "responsible"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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